American's Most Histrionic

There are times in prison when I feel like I'm on a new reality show called America's Most Histrionic. I have to remind myself to be patient with the dramatic wincing during gentle exam maneuvers and with the high volume of tears shed in my office. My first patient yesterday has been challenging to care for during our many visits. Aptly named, her last name is a synonym for "hit," and her chief complaint at our first visit was "punched the wall 20 times." This visit went fairly well; at least I didn't feel like punching a wall 20 times.

The drama continued out in the "yard" during the afternoon. Perhaps its the beautiful 75 degree weather or the fact that the entire campus is under construction to make it more disability friendly, but the ladies are a little testy. I was walking through the rubble to get back to the sidewalk when I witnessed and out and out brawl between two offenders in the grass during the evening medication line. It seemed like I was watching it in slow motion and thinking "hmmm...that's odd...are they fighting?!!!" I motioned to the guards, and another inmate broke up the fight. The ladies were then hand cuffed and likely taken to "the hole." Not a typical sight during my stroll across the yard. As they always say in prison emails, "be vigilant and stay safe."

I had my first prison nightmare last night. I was involved in some kind of theft and had to go to prison for 1 day. When I got there, they told me I had to stay for 5 days, and I was devastated. I woke up in a panic, thankful to be safe in La Quinta without a rap sheet.