Lockdowns and Shakedowns

I enjoyed a lighter patient load at prison this week due in part to the usual stuff--patients canceling or no-showing, for which they are charged $3. However, a few patients were also cancelled as a result of a lockdown on Wednesday afternoon. Apparently when fights break out or there is some sort of mayhem, the "shift commander" (boss of daily operations) issues a lockdown, and the offenders must stay where ever they are until it is clear. In this instance, two women from unit 2 got into a brawl. I guess there was quite a weight class differential because when they brought up the ladies for an "anatomical" (full body nursing assessment in the medical clinic), the lightweight was missing a chunk of hair and had some abrasions, while the heavyweight contender didn't have a scratch. I hear of a few catfights in the women's prison, but the serious fights happen in the men's prison. These can have fatal outcomes.

When prisoners break rules or get in trouble, depending on the seriousness of the offense, they are brought to the "seg" unit. In this area, they are in their cells for 23 hrs/day. I made a trip to seg in my first week at prison to accompany our nurse practitioner as she gave a breast cancer awareness and self breast exam lecture. (Nevermind that teaching self breast exams is a USPSTF category "D"...the prisoners seem to really enjoy health education.) Anyway, imagine about 20 prisoners trying to watch this talk while looking through the 5 inch wide windows on their cell doors. I had to walk around with the self breast exam poster to each of their cells so they could take a quick look. The seg cells do have a small window to the outside world, which I think would preserve my sanity. Often as I leave the prison at night, I see prisoners in the medication line adjacent to seg signing to their friends who are locked up.

By some stroke of luck, I am on a list serve for a men's prison and get emails with the daily "incident report." These contain reports by officers detailing a wide range of topics --from unruly prisoner behavior to malfunctioning equipment on the campus. These objective descriptions can be quite hysterical at times. ("I, Officer H, witnessed offender #(insert 5-6 digit number here) place a brick of cheese in the kitchen on the underside of a metal cart. I later asked him what was in his pocket and located the brick of cheese.") Many of the reports have to do with illegal tattoo equipment seized during searches and shakedowns. I am still trying to learn what a "shakedown" is, but I think it is a cell search after a piece of contraband is found. Apparently, you can dismantle a radio and use it as a tattooing machine. Don't expect me to come home for Christmas with "prison doc" with a heart around it on my bicep.